I have a wonderful life. I have found myself too focused on the many challenges and stressors of raising two boys (speech therapy, doctors’ appt, and diet restrictions) and I fear I might loose the joy of my life and children. I have a wonderful life. It is an oft repeated phrase but while the days are long, the years are painfully short. Both my boys are weaned, and fully potty trained now. They sleep most of the night (and some times the entire night) in their own room. Big Brother is reading and Little Brother is sounding out CVC words even!
I am reading, Home By Choice. It is a great inspirational, based on the Science of Attachment and the long term effects of infant attachment, read. I am being reminded that as I race though the days of read-a-louds and crayons I am having a real impact on not only boy boys’ adult lives; but their marriages and their children in turn. It is easy to get lost in the long days and forget how short the years really are. As the days speed by with army men invading the kitchen, super hero throwing super villains into walls, snipers hiding under tables ready to ambush the unsuspecting, couch back jousting matches; it is hard to think about more than getting though school each day and keeping everyone alive. That is when reminders like Home By Choice is so important. I am not just dogging the boys, again, to pick up the army men in the kitchen after I step on my 5th one; I am teaching something much bigger: respect for others, care for personal belonging, kitchen safety and responsibility; those are the things if you don’t make yourself stop and think, you’ll loose sight of.
Parenting is not what I expected; I suppose everyone says that. There are some challenges with our two boys that I did not anticipate as I planned to welcome and raise your typical child. But that is not what I mean. I mean things like: I expected to be making cute faces with fruit and veggies for lunch, but I have one boy that panics at food and another that is just as happy to walk off with my plate. I mean things like: I envisioned keeling down, looking my son in the face and saying “I don’t like that behavior, it is rude” and that “taking care of that” (hey that is what all the Gentle Discipline, Positive Parenting and Attachment books say, right?) and really some day I feel more like a NHL referee than Donna Reed.
It is too easy to get lost in chicken nuggets and craft projects and forget about the very real life long impact that our choices, our words and our behaviors have on our children’s lives. We build them up, or tear them down; and up or down they remain for the rest of their life. More so up or down they then tear their wives and children.
Night after night as I lay between them in bed for them to fall asleep a feeling of peace settles over us. They both cuddle in as close as they can be, secure that their “base” is there and they can relax. It is the only time they are still and quiet. Many times I lay there, after they are asleep, pray over them, stroke their hair, listen to the breath, and just soak in the peace. I have a wonderful life.
Life, faith, homeschooling, growing and FUN 
very good article.
🙂
love Julie