Thursday Oct 26 I had on OB appt, I was at the end of week 37. Knowing my conception date (both in 2007 and 2005) I knew my expected due date; but I also respect the fact that an expected due date is not a expiration date or even a date for the movies, it generally means nothing God has a plan for each pregnancy, each baby, and all we can do is follow along the best we can. We decided to do an ultrasound to check growth. Because Big Brother had been IUGR while I was pregnant with him in 2005, we had done extra ultrasounds with this pregnancy. That day, it was determined that the baby had not grown in the past 3 or 4 weeks since our last U/S. The baby was fine, heartbeat good and so on, but no growth. Apparently this is a trend for me; my baby stop growing week 35 or so, and I give birth week 38. The OB, an awesome doctor, Dr Michael Mintzer, and I had a long talk about while the goal all along had been a spontaneous labor and birth free of all medication intervention, we now needed to consider inducing labor; being in the womb was not being beneficial to the baby at this point.
We set an Appt for Tuesday to do another US and then set a date for induction if that was the consensus. Daddy was going to take off work and go to that appt with me. The Dr Mintzer felt that be the middle or end of week 38, if the U/S showed the baby was not growing, then baby was just as safe if not safer outside the womb and there would be no value to waiting. Our of the womb I could nourish the baby with breast milk, in the womb but continually not growing one would have to wonder how well the baby was being nourished by the placenta.
Labor actually started the next nigh; Oct 27, Friday night. Nothing consistent, nothing organized; but real labor nonetheless. My first labor 23.5 months before that had also started on a Friday night. I was amazed at how different labor could be. Labor in 2005 was harsh from the very start; in 2007 it was almost unnoticeable. I was glad labor had started; my body had started on its own. In 2005 Labor started on a Friday night with a Tue appt set to induce and it seemed that 2007 was going the same way. I only prayed that this is where the similarities would end.
Grandma Packard and Auntie Roo were here in hopes of staying with Big Brother while Daddy and I birthed and spend time with the new baby. At that point, we were still unaware if we were welcoming a baby girl or a baby boy to our family – we had a girl name waiting (the same one that had been waiting since 2005 and actually before that). We had a first name for a boy, but Daddy being convinced this baby would be Katherine Beatrice the boy’s name lacked a middle name to go with it.
Labor started and stopped and started again only to stop again. Each “cycle” was more focused, a bit more intense, stronger and more organized and generally lasted longer. I was ecstatic to be so ‘typical”. Each time labor started with seemingly with more purpose I got more and more excited THIS was going to be IT. Each time labor stopped, sometimes after hours of regular contractions, I’d reassure myself that, “soon, it has to be soon”, and take comfort in this labor being so much more text book than the one in 2005.
Friday, Saturday and Sunday we continued to enjoy a great fall in the mid-west. We went to a pumpkin patch, I walked miles and miles on our little gravel roads. We took then “the boy” now Big Brother to the park and I had a blast sliding with him, climbing play structures and playing tag and chase. One of my best memories is of sitting at the top of a slide, waiting out a contraction as Big Brother slide, ran around, climbed back up and signed “TURN, GO” for me to move for him, then he climbed over me to slide again. Life does not get better than that. To this day memories flood me of that trip to the park each time ve take the boys to play there.
By Sunday afternoon, pushing evening, the cycles of contractions were getting longer and much stronger; I was less and less able to effectively interact with Big Brother, less and less able to play with him, or talk to him while the contractions were “on”. I was really enjoying myself, nervous, but thinking “how perfect a labor this is”. By bed time Sunday we were anticipating a baby over night, or at least the need to leave the house over night. This is really sad but I can not remember who put Big Brother to bed!! I am so ashamed. It must have been me; as Big Brother was not then and still now is not one to go to bed with someone else if I am home. I know he slept in Auntie Roo’s bed.
Towards night the cycle of contractions did not stop, it would wax and wane but not stop like it had been. By 10 things were moving great, and I vas so excited; I finally really felt like things were on. This was it. Daddy went to bed; he had to either go to work the next day, or be ready to help me. I sat up washing and folding all the laundry in the house. The house was dark and silent. My thought being, if I am gone 3 days and come home with a new born I need to have things as orderly as possible to start with. After the house was quite labor got much stronger, then stopped cold. I almost cried. I finished the table of laundry I was folding, making baskets for each bedroom and went to bed about 3 am – telling myself to sleep I’d need it later.
Oct 29, a Monday in 2007, I woke up with Daddy at 5:30 and out of habit started doing a kick count, talking to the baby. The baby failed the kick count, not giving me 10 good movements in an hour’s time. This amazed me, both my babies were very active in the womb and this one in particular had been kicking and pushing for days like “he” wanted out and out the side not the birth cannel.
Daddy and I talked and decided he was going to work and I’d call the doctors office at 8 am and discuss things with Laurel the rocking great nurse there and then call him. Daddy needed to get things ready to be gone if nothing else.
I managed to fall back asleep. Later I heard Auntie Roo get up with Big Brother; I texted her I was still in the bedroom and not to let Big Brother know I was home. From 6 to 8 the baby failed 2 more kick counts and I was getting worried, labor also had not restarted, at all, and this vas the longest since Friday afternoon I had gone without contractions.
At 8 am I called and left a message at the doctor’s office. I tried to sleep, I read, and I worried. At 10 (when the office opened on Mondays, I should have remembered that) laurel called me and invited me to go to the hospital and start Pitocin to re-start labor, she made it clear it was still our call. In my message I had asked about going ahead and inducing the labor now rather than seeing Mintzer the next day then setting a date later in the week. She and I discussed the options, inducing the failed kick counts and the stalled labor and all my fears. I called Daddy, again, at the office and we agreed that vas the path we wanted to take. We agreed that sitting home worrying did neither nor the child any good.
I texted Auntie Roo the plan and she and Big Brother “hunted lions” in the laundry room so I could sneak out. I had to carry out my suitcase and pillow, not great planning for sneaking, and laughed that I should have had Daddy carry them out with him either the night before or at 6 am so I didn’t have to. I left, called Daddy and told him I was on the way. He arranged to have someone from his office take him to the hospital so he could meet me.
I arrived at the hospital at a bit after 11 and had a wonderful wonderful birth nurse named Laural. That is a great name. I was so happy when she turned out to be as great as the Laural at the OB’s office. We had no doula for this birth, but Laural was all that and more; I told her she should go for her CNM. First I took a fast shower since I had not done so at home for fear of Big Brother hearing the shower. Then she hooked up an IV and started the Pit, I ate pop ice and hung out on the birth ball, waiting …. I did have a fetal monitor on, and the baby was just fine so at that point I was ready to sit back and wait and let God and the baby take the lead. She and I talked and chatted like to old friends about birth and babies. She reviewed our birth plan, point by point and while we discussed several of the choices and the how / why of our thought process – more because she seemed interested, she did not question or argue any of the choices and made sure to abide by it the entire birth.
Quite humorous; Dr Mizier stopped by at noon to see me. He talked to us abut the pros and cons of starting Pit; then said “ok let’s do it” the three of us in the room looked at the IV and laughed and the nurse said “you called in that order before she got here, we started it over 30 minutes ago” and he smiled. There was some discussion of artificially breaking my water, stating that vas the next step, if we needed that or felt we wanted it; but he told me he had no desire to rush me and he trusted me.
When I was crawling back into the bed from the birth ball my water broke on its own. I have to say I HATE contractions after your water breaks; I hate that gush feeling each and every contraction brings after the water breaks, the most unpleasant part of birth for me. At the end of lunch Dr Mintzer came back by and asked “so I am assuming we are not going to break the water” and again all of us laughed and Daddy told him “already broke” and Mitizer laughed and said “do you even need me?”
Once my water broke the labor really came on strong. Still not at all the painful experience of 2005, but strong and intense and with out question productive. I had been sitting on the birth ball beside the bed. Leaning forward felt better so I was standing up over the ball, leaning on the bed. Laural was concerned I was making my legs too tired and would need them for the birth so she suggesting I kneel on the bed, and lean over a big bean bag. That was perfect. I found the best position was on my hands and knees, pushing forward into a pile of pillows with a big bean bag under me for me to lag down into for resting. Daddy sat at my face, and Laural rubbed my back and all in all it was an enjoyable labor. After 2005 I dreaded birthing, the process of labor and delivery; but I found myself loving it. We had dialed the Pit way back (off?) after about 45 minutes, once my vater broke and labor took off.
I labored from 11:30 or noon till about 4 or 4:45. Then Laural started to talk about transition, and about the birth being soon. Things were a lot more intense and took a lot more effort to relax though from about 4 pm on. Nevertheless I LAUGHED at her, labor in 2005 had been 33 hours straight (after all the starting and stopping was over and it was just ON). 4:30or so I made a major mistake and tried to roll over and sit up, I THOUGHT I waned off my knees, that was not a good choice, contractions not only sped up they took on a lot more of an edge and I started to panic and tense up, remember 2005. On my knees and hands it I had been in a great groove, and moaning the pain out and rocking. That worked. Once I changed position it vas like a card house tumbling, I could not quite “get a hold of it” again. I started to panic. Memories of the 2005 birth were my greatest enemy from the entire birth process. Daddy and I talked and decided to accept a shot of fentanyl (sublimaze) http://www.medicinenet.com/fentanyl-injection/article.htm to take the pain back a bit, and to stop my panic. Our birth plan had specified narcotic not be offered and everyone had respected that. Daddy and I wanted to avoid unnecessary medical intervention, but we decided from a physiological stand point this vas a good option more to let me get back on top mentally than to actually address pain.
I had one shot, and boy I felt warm. The contractions did not stop and frankly the pain did not really get better, but the panic left me and the sharpness of the contraction vas removed. For most of the labor the contraction did NOT have a sharp edge to them; they were classically “squeezing” and “constricting” and dull and wide; the shot return them to that feel with out the cutting feel that the panic brought on.
By 6 Laural was prepping the room for the birth, bringing the heating table (that we don’t use) and the BIG MIRROR and the rolling carts of stuff (most unused by us but I thank God over and over again that we are blessed to live in a day and time where we have the tools and care available if anyone should even need them). I just argued with her and laughed; again I labored 33 hours straight in 2005 and then pushed 3 hours – this vas too easy and too fast. At 6 pm she told me “trust me, in an hour or less you are going to be holding a baby”. I had no idea, I vas in transition – I hit that about 5 or 5:30. Never having experience transition in 2005 I had no idea. Things felt faster, the room louder and brighter despite Laural having turned the lights down for me. My skin felt hot an a little itchy. Still I could not believe the baby vas arriving this soon.
When the urge to push hit, it hit. Mitizer was not there, but we did not wait, I had pushed though 2 or 3 contractions before he arrived. I was on my side, sitting up, well kinda up. Supported behind my back by my hubby and a pile of pillows. One older nurse that came in (the room seems to fill when you push and the baby arrives) tried to get me to roll over, and scoot down. Laural stopped her before I could even say a word to refuse. Mitizer walking in at that point told her from across the room “Let Aimee do what ever feels best”. Looking back I wish I had remained on my knees; but I am also glad I did not since had I nee on all 4’s I would not have been able to catch Little Brother like I did. Laural sat on the edge of be bed by my hips and held one of my hands as I pushed, she counted for me (not that it mattered but I liked her voice and one thing to concentrate on in the noise). At our request the room vas not silent, because if it is silent then I’d “look for sound” but it vas not loud either.
Mitizer had a medical student with him, as he had most of the day, and I was excited for a student to see a “mostly natural” normal birth. I would RATHER birth without any interventions, but I know enough to respect my mental state as well as how to use interventions for us. In 2005 I made several mistakes and the biggest one vas the sin of pride and the attachment to a grand ideal of 100% natural birth. I am glad the Student got the opportunity to see natural minded family use medical interventions to support a natural birth without the birth becoming a “fully medical” event. I think we presented a nice balance; that medical interventions are not an all or nothing option for a birthing mothers – the choice does not have to be medical or natural. Ok maybe I am wrong and that is self justification, so be it. I made massive mistakes in 2005 and had a very hard unpleasant birth and I feel a lot of it was the result of my holding a perfect natural birth as an idol and then flaying as I failed to achieve it thus digging myself deeper and deeper. In 2007 I had an amazing and nearly perfect birth.
I pushed for about 20 minutes, I love that mirror seeing the baby’s head crown was amazing. Little Brother has a dark full head of hair, Big Brother in 2005 I had not seen till after birth, but was bald. Daddy said he felt my concentration on my push slip when I saw that great head of hair. Daddy, at that point, was sure the baby was a girl. J It took 3 contraction / push cycles to get past crowning. I head Mitizer talking to the Student, they sounded 1000 miles away, discussion episiotomy and why he was not doing one and why they can be a bad idea. I had a 4th degree tear in 2005 and still (in 2010) have scars. I did not tear, but it might have been better if I did, I had massive swelling, and a clear little tear might have healed faster.
Once the baby’s head was free Mitizer asked Daddy if he wanted to guide the baby out and he did not, but I sure did. I reached forward. Little Brother had his head and one arm free. I got a hand under his arm, and Mitizer had a hand under his back until I got a hand under his 2nd arm. Then I just pulled him up on to my chest. It was the most amazing tear filled joyous moment ever.
Bad Momma I can not remember, now, who announced the boy to be a boy; and I remember Laurel putting a blanket over us. That is all folks, I do not remember much after that except gazing at my baby and hearing my loving husband talk in my ear. One new nurse did try to question the refusal do to a vit K shot, but she was silenced by someone (maybe me, I don’t remember).
I wanted a shower so bad about 2 hours later, but no go. I tired to get up to go to the bathroom and fainted. So I was stuck bed bound till I finally snuck out on my own some time Saturday morning!! We were blessed with a 2nd great nurse, Shelly.
We took Little Brother home on Halloween. When daddy arrived to take us home (he was going home and sleeping with Big Brother) we still did not have a middle name for him. He had the first name we had before labor, but still no middle name. Daddy and I sat for over an hour going over a list of names, middle names, Daddy had brought with him before choosing a name before left.
- Oct 29, 2007
- 6:53 pm
- 6 pounds .05 oz
- 18 inches