Getting though the day, not alone.

I have been fighting a lot of discouragement this week (ok this month).  There are life changes we want to make for our family and the process so extremely slow and not really under our control.  Three steps forward and two backwards seems to be the rule.  We continue to chip away at the riddle of Big Brother’s challenges, his skills and his struggles.  As we learn more, we learn there is much more we just don’t know and I am not sure how to get to the core of the issue.  I am also not sure the best practical way to address the functional day to day struggles that impact him and our family.  I am tired, worn out, and discouraged.  I feel like I am running 150 mph just to tread water and not actually moving forward or accomplishing anything; and trust me the to-do list at this point is straining the definition of a ‘list’.

This blog post spoke to me.

The only way I can succeed in this life is you give it all up and allow Christ and the Holy Spirit to do it all though me.  I need to stop trying so hard and let go.  THIS is the biggest struggle of my faith, an on going struggle and not a new one.

My challenge today, everyday is remembering that:

I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live, I live by faith in Him who loves me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)

I need to remind myself to meditate on Colossians 1:29 “To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.” Not me, but Him though me.

There is simply no way I can do it all, in the home, for my children or in the world at large.  I have to allow Him to not only direct my path but also to work though me.

This is my own faith challenge.  Not so much the knowing, the concept, but the viable application to my life.  I have never found the foundations of faith to be difficult:  God’s existence, the deity of Christ and the understanding of good and evil in the world at large, the very real spiritual war being fought around us, and the rules of the afterlife.  My faith in the Bible as reveled word is strong as is my conviction in God’s headship and creation of all.  However, my biggest trial always has been and continues to be letting go and allowing God His right control; day to day, moment to moment.

This is the practical struggle of faith I wrestle with do day as I strive to get the house in order and plod though the list on the counter.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Getting though the day, not alone.

  1. carolyn bledsoe

    Aimee, I so understand where you are coming from… I, too, struggled with my reactions to the things that happened in my life. And that’s what it all boils down to – “reactions”.. those are the only things we can control in our lives. Happenings are controlled by God, reactions are controlled by us, with God’s help. Having said all that – I still realize that it’s just plain difficult when one has growing children, especially when one of them has challenges. Is there any possibility that you can hire a person to stay with your children for a couple of hours a week – or more – so you can get out of the house, away from the situation, and just relax? I suppose you have already considered this and maybe this just isn’t a viable solution…. Is there a “Mother’s Day Out” program somewhere close to you? Maybe that would work.

    At any rate, just know that I am praying for you and hoping that each day gets a little easier as the boys mature. Keep up the great work with your family – that seems to be your life path. You are a super wife and an awesome mother!!

    Love you, Carolyn

    • we are hoping and praying to move hom in 2011 or 2012 so YOU and grand Pat and Pa Pa can all take a move active role in the lives of the boys. we have a GREAT family that we are dear with and the girls of that family mother’s help and do all they can for me, and the family at large stand ready any time i need help; and while i never have i know i could call at 2 am and say “hey i am dropping off a kid” and the child/ren would be welcomed with open arms.

      there are simply no “programs” out where we live, and driving an hour both ways defeats the break. I am not sure i need a break, alone, as much as i just struggle with day to day — no more than any other mom struggles, just some day / weeks i do so with a more cheerful heart and some times i get bogged down in the details.

      🙂

      Thanks, I do my best to be a good mom. it is not even 10 and we have had breakfast, snack, built a fort and colored. all i can do is try.

  2. Julie

    Remember that we are not called to be successfull, only faithful!! (Blessed Mother Teresa)and you are doing that, you are inthe trenches everyday never giving up…that is truely more important than the list on the counter. That being said..I admit that I was screaming into a pillow with frustration that MY list was being ignored not 10 minutes ago 🙂

  3. Aimee that was such an encouragement. I just love Renee Swope and her words full of so much wisdom… but let me share a little something with you. I was privileged to meet Renee and many of the women of Proverbs 31 ministries and the one thing that kept standing out was how REAL they are. ALL of us women are dealing with the same feelings, the same struggles, the same insecurities… they just display themselves in different ways.

    I was SO encouraged by your words today. You see, in going through your struggles, and feelings of exhaustion… you are right, it is through HIS strength that you prevail…. and as Paul says you will be able to comfort those who are in the same shoes as you. What a blessing to use our trials, sufferings, and plain out mama exhaustion for HIS GLORY! It is obvious that you are exactly where He wants you and HE IS using you. I needed to hear those words myself today! Thanks for being an encouragement to another momma with kids with way too many things to deal with and a house full of things that should have been accomplished months ago! God bless!

    • Christina, I am going to come back and reply to you more. I have a full night and need to get going on it. But i have to say your message has really touched me. this post, i scrambled out as the boys ate breakfast, it simply contained my feelings for the day — the dirty kitchen and so on. I am glad it spoke to you too.

  4. Ah, I see my two lovelies have found one another. Well, my work here is done.
    Smoochies to Christina and to Aimee. ❤

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