I have been fighting a lot of discouragement this week (ok this month). There are life changes we want to make for our family and the process so extremely slow and not really under our control. Three steps forward and two backwards seems to be the rule. We continue to chip away at the riddle of Big Brother’s challenges, his skills and his struggles. As we learn more, we learn there is much more we just don’t know and I am not sure how to get to the core of the issue. I am also not sure the best practical way to address the functional day to day struggles that impact him and our family. I am tired, worn out, and discouraged. I feel like I am running 150 mph just to tread water and not actually moving forward or accomplishing anything; and trust me the to-do list at this point is straining the definition of a ‘list’.
The only way I can succeed in this life is you give it all up and allow Christ and the Holy Spirit to do it all though me. I need to stop trying so hard and let go. THIS is the biggest struggle of my faith, an on going struggle and not a new one.
My challenge today, everyday is remembering that:
I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live, I live by faith in Him who loves me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)
I need to remind myself to meditate on Colossians 1:29 “To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.” Not me, but Him though me.
There is simply no way I can do it all, in the home, for my children or in the world at large. I have to allow Him to not only direct my path but also to work though me.
This is my own faith challenge. Not so much the knowing, the concept, but the viable application to my life. I have never found the foundations of faith to be difficult: God’s existence, the deity of Christ and the understanding of good and evil in the world at large, the very real spiritual war being fought around us, and the rules of the afterlife. My faith in the Bible as reveled word is strong as is my conviction in God’s headship and creation of all. However, my biggest trial always has been and continues to be letting go and allowing God His right control; day to day, moment to moment.
This is the practical struggle of faith I wrestle with do day as I strive to get the house in order and plod though the list on the counter.